you know the philosophical query: if a tree falls in the forest and nobody sees, did it really fall? now i am that tree, these pitter-patter on my keyboard, my fall. it's a liberating feeling, really. i am here and yet blanketed by total anonymity - that i am easily not.
today i suffered a heartbreak. my daughter made a picture of which she was exceedingly proud, only to have her uncle color over it with black oil pastel. and what did i do? i hugged her through her tears, telling her to forgive her uncle. she wanted to get even, of course, and rushed off to tear her uncle's picture too. lest you think this is a case of uncle and niece being close of age, let me tell you that my husband's brother is turning 22 in november and my daughter is four months into her fifth year.
i wanted to tear into my brother-in-law. how dare he taunt my sweet, sensitive girl! and how dare I take her uncle's side (outwardly, though to her that's all that matters. i did have a short talk with the brother-in-law in private.) and tell her to take one in the name of Jesus and turning the other cheek.
i know i need to teach her temper-control and that the world will sometimes (literally) blacken your pretty picture. but does it have to feel this bad? and do i have to tread lightly with a grown-up who acts childishly towards a child? i kept thinking that if it were my own sibling, i'd have demanded that he apologize to my child. then again, no sibling of mine would have hurt my daughter so.
i wish i can listen to my own advice and just put this behind me. there she is, sleeping so peacefully. she had a bit of a cry again just before bedtime but she does tend towards melodrama. and she did spend twilight feeding the koi and running around with her uncle. note to self: S is more resilient than i think. that's a good thought to go to bed on.
